Two Years

 
  Two years ago today at 5:18am Carina Leigh was born. I hate that it has been two long years since I have held her. It is hard to imagine what life would be like if she was here. She would be a toddler now... running around, playing and fighting with Lane and Ava. Our household would be even more chaotic than it is now! What I wouldn't give to share this life with her... to hear her giggles along with the other two, to feel her arms squeeze around my neck. Instead of knowing these joys I am left with the ache and sorrow of simply imagining and wondering what would have been.

It is hard to know what to do with ourselves on July 12th now. After all, it is both Carina's birthday and the anniversary of her death. It is a day of celebration and of mourning. This evening we went to her grave and planted flowers and put a butterfly at her grave. Jeremy, Lane and Ava had made cupcakes. So, we sang "Happy Birthday" and "We Miss You" and the kids blew out her candles.

It is hard to answer Lane's questions and see him wrestle with the concept of death. Last year we left balloons go for her birthday. This year he wanted balloons again so he could send a cupcake with them for her. He wanted to know when she is coming to live with us again. He was confused by the lyrics from "The Gospel Song" that say "By His death, I live again". He was thinking that she would live again with us here on earth some day. Try explaining that to a little boy who misses his sister. It rips my heart out.

But still I trust my Father who freely gave up His own Son for my sake. I rest knowing that all of this is for our good. I rest knowing that Carina is in His care doing just what she was created for. She is worshiping God, and so I will worship, too.

Carina, we love and miss you more than words can say. Every day is spent wishing you were here. We long for the day when we will know you. Happy Birthday, sweet girl. Hugs and kisses from all of us... xo xo xo xo...

Lane's 5th Birthday!

  July 1, 2009 Lane turned 5 years old! I can't believe I have a 5-year-old... where does the time go?! We celebrated last friday with his first "friend" party. His party guests were Easton Herr, Cole and Spencer Teaman, Gabe Parmer, Kyle Valentine, John Hershey, and Ava. He picked Cars for his theme. I made him a Lightening McQueen cake (which took me 3 hours to decorate!), he made favor bags filled with Cars stuff, and we made a pinata. He chose corn dogs, chips, and apple slices for dinner. The boys flew their Cars planes around, had dinner, ran around, broke the pinata, sang happy birthday and ate cake, then lane opened presents, and they flew their planes some more! I believe fun was had by all and Daddy and Mommy were worn out! Thanks to all you boys and Ava who helped to make Lane's birthday so special!

Miller Mountains Weekend 2009

 

The end of June we took a weekend away to the mountains with my family. Alicia, Ian and Tytus were unable to join us because of Tytus still being so young, but the rest of us were there! We enjoyed time sitting around the fire, eating too much, playing games, taking walks, and just playing around!

Four Days with Gabe

 

June 21st our nephew/cousin Gabe arrived to spend four days with us while his parents were in Aruba. We had so much fun! Gabe did really well given the circumstances. We had a beautiful week and spent lots of time outside. The kids blew tons of bubbles, played on the swing set, did sidewalk chalk, walked around the neighborhood, and went to Dutch Wonderland for an evening. It was a sweet time of making memories with Gabe and we were so thankful to have so much time with him since we don't get to see him often.

Father's Day 2009

  Happy Father's Day, Jeremy! We started the day's festivities by sending Daddy to Taco Bell to get his lunch after church. (He enjoys Taco Bell food and almost never gets it anymore!) When he arrived home we gave him cards that the children made and chocolate toasted coconut candy that we had made for him. We relaxed and Lane and Ava napped in the afternoon. In the evening Jeremy's parents arrived with our nephew Gabe (who we were keeping for four days) and we had a cookout.

I had the privilege of posting a tribute to Jeremy on our church's blog. Here is the link: http://crosswaylife.wordpress.com/?s=jeremy+stoltzfus

Mountains Vacation 2009

  On Memorial Day we headed up to the cabin for a week of vacation. When we arrived my Mom's side of the family was all still there and we shared lunch and a walk with them. Before dinner everyone but Nan and Pop headed home. They stayed with us for another day. We so much enjoyed getting to spend all that extra time with them! They left Tuesday afternoon and left us in the rain. It rained on and off for a couple of days. That didn't dampen our experience, though. We made and played play dough, painted with watercolor, drew with stencils, read books, played toys, watched a movie or two and played games. We made several meals over the fire and had smores every night.  One night our camp fire was rained out and even that did not deter us from smore making. We fired up the electric stove and went to town. Lane and Ava thought that was cool! Thursday we had a big photo shoot and went down to the creek and made a dam. Friday we headed to R.B. Winter State Park for a few hours. Jeremy and I sat on the beach in our jackets, while Lane and Ava insisted on splashing in the water, playing in the sand and on the playground in their bathing suits... crazy kids! It was SO chilly! Saturday we did some more creek stomping, built another dam and had wagon rides down the gravel road. Jeremy and I played games pretty much every time the kids were sleeping and enjoyed some evening conversations by the fire. The week was delightful, relaxing, refreshing, and filled with sweet family memories! We look forward to it again next year, Lord willing!

Miss Diana's Circus

  May 23, 2009 we went to the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, otherwise know as "Miss Diana's circus". We went with the Herr and Teaman families. Jeremy, Lane, Ava and I arrived early and met up with Diana. We saw the elephants, tigers and a few other animals outside and then headed in to see the pre-show. Everyone else joined us for the show and we ALL loved it! We were so happy to get a chance to visit Diana, too. Especially Ava. Every minute we were with Diana, Ava wanted to be held by her. Afterward, Diana took us on a little back stage tour. Thanks for making our circus experience so special, Diana!